tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18256919598457132902024-02-02T04:29:31.400-05:00The Fey DragonRamblings of a Modern Day WizardMaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01728559049414338167noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1825691959845713290.post-70750274044460896012010-08-01T09:06:00.000-04:002010-08-01T09:06:18.434-04:00Little DogsI have a little dog, well, at least what I consider a little dog. She is a mix, rescued from the shelter, and weighs in at a whopping 30 pounds. Cerri is now a just a little more than a year old and brings us smiles each and every day. During the hot summer days she loves to be outside just laying in the sunshine. She soaks it up; she teaches me to just enjoy life. I have watched her chase butterflies in the field and be curious about the bee hives, but last night she out did herself. You see, yesterday we celebrated Lughnasadh.<br />
<br />
The celebration was not at our house but at a friends. We knew we would be late and couldn't leave Cerri outside the whole evening on her lead, so we decided that it was truly time to trust her and leave her alone in the house. No crate, no restraints, just doors shut and the gate to the living room put in place. We were gone about six hours, not terribly long, but long enough for a small dog who isnt' use to the arrangement we left her with. When we pulled into the drive we didn't see her little head pop up at the door - she must be asleep? Not only was she asleep, but she was dreaming the way dogs do with her little paws moving rapidly as if chasing one of those butterflies in her mind.<br />
<br />
However, it would not last. Her peaceful slumber was interrupted by a noise... something outside. Out of sleep she bolted, barking ferociously as she ran away to the safety of the dining room. Damned if she was going to find out what it was but she should would sound an alarm. We laughed, our opening the door had scared her to the point of hiding until she understood we were the ones making the noise. Then there was joy, mom and dad were home and she was a good dog. Outside she went to walk in the night air, Bill was with her as she wandered her domain. That's right she is queen of the lawn as long as someone is with her to make sure she is safe. <br />
<br />
As the two of them enjoyed the outside I did a quick survey of the house that she had access to (tv room, dining room, and kitchen) to see if there was any "collateral damage" from our leaving her alone. Only one thing was disturbed: the bag of dog biscuits. It was tipped over and open with four dog biscuits strewn across the floor. The way it looked I wouldn't have been surprised to see Cerri passed out from a biscuit high, little belly bulging, and burp come from her mouth. If she had been a human teenager, friends would have been passed out with her on the couch, all of them denying that they had done anything. Oh well, the bag wasn't empty, it seemed only a few biscuits had been eaten. I picked up the few on the floor, put them away and decided that we needed a better place to keep them.<br />
<br />
When Bill and the dog came back in it was time for bed. Cerri hopped up on the couch and nosed her way under the pillow and into the corner of the cushion. I was curious, what could be so interesting? I looked. It was a dog biscuit. She hadn't eaten them, she put one away for a midnight snack! I laughed and showed it to Bill. He laughed and joked that we should check the chair. I did. Another biscuit in the back of the cushion. She was "burying/hiding" her food around the house. We took both of stashes and watched as she became confused. Burrowing into each spot with her nose she didn't understand where her food had gone. It was hilarious. <br />
<br />
It was now time to go to bed and upstairs I went. Cerri followed, not an unusual thing, but then it happened. She went to check on the next stash. You got it, now there were dog biscuits in the bedroom. I forgot that she has access to our room. Not one, but two hidden biscuits were found. I'm not sure if she has any other stashes in the house, but if she does we will find them eventually. So my lesson for the day is, you never know when you will need a biscuit so you should hid a lot of them throughout the house just in case you get hungry.<br />
<br />
I love my little dog.Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01728559049414338167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1825691959845713290.post-38628365266335014052010-03-11T16:59:00.000-05:002010-03-11T16:59:34.273-05:00Plant a RowIt feels like Spring today. The sun is shining, the dog is sleeping on the driveway soaking in sun, the windows are open, and there is a lightness to the air. Now if it would only stay this way for a while. This is upstate New York however, so I think that we will enjoy the day and understand that there are a few more days of winter to come.<br />
<br />
Today I received the first shipment of seed for the farm. I am so excited! I now have the cover crop for those areas we won't plant during the first go round, herbs and vegetables for the garden, and a pack of carrot seeds intended to feed the hungry. The berry bushes will be here in due time, but it is the carrot seeds that I am excited about at the moment. Excited because it was a surprise. I didn't know it at the time, but the company that I ordered the cover crop and herb seeds from give away packets of vegetable seeds to their customers. On the label, besides telling you what you will be growing, it asks that you plant a row for the hungry. You are to give the produce to a food bank, shelter, your neighbor or anyone else that might have a need. What a gift to give someone - I'm talking about me not the hungry.<br />
<br />
My seed company gave me the gift of giving. In turn I will give the gift of food, but what a wonderful way of "paying it forward". They asked for nothing in return, only that as their customer I take a small amount of time and do something for someone else. What a wonderful thing to do. I think I'll ask my grand children to help out as a special project that we can do together. That way they will learn the joy of giving a gift, of helping someone in need, and be able to spend time on the farm "playing". All the way around everyone wins.<br />
<br />
I was waiting for a robin to show up or the blubs to peak out of the ground to have it feel like spring. I think a small packet of seeds does it much better and will have a much longer affect. So, go out and do something for someone who could use a helping hand. It will get the feel of winter off of your bones and make you smile as if it is always sunny outside.Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01728559049414338167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1825691959845713290.post-55598831179371661822010-02-26T06:44:00.000-05:002010-02-26T06:44:08.477-05:00A Day of ReflectionToday is my friend Teresa's birthday. Teresa passed 20 days ago to begin her walk with the ancestors and I miss her deeply. She was/is my guide and mentor in so many ways, not all of them understood by others and that is okay. I know that she still stands by me and guides in a manner that only those that have passed through the veil can - with love.<br />
<br />
She joined another friend of mine, Bill. He passed in the winter a few years ago after a long battle with multiple illnesses. Today I know that the two of them have met in passage even though they had never known each other in life. I know this because I know both of them are good kind people; wise and always looking to the future. Both of them have come into conversation in the past week and so I know that they continue to speak to me in their own silent ways.<br />
<br />
In a way they have both been teaching me these past three weeks since Teresa's passing; teaching me to stand on my own. I always have, do not get me wrong, but I have always had a point of "fear" in doing so. What? Fear? Of course, we all have fear. If we didn't then we wouldn't be human. I think that what they have been trying to tell me is that it is okay to have fear, it is okay to be unsure, it is okay to feel weak and unable to move forward. When that happens you need to look deeply within yourself and find the core of who you really are and hold that tight. The warmth you feel is love, a love that no one can take from you and that has been built with the help of friends and family. It reminds us who we are and why we do what we do. It is the love of all those that have gone before us and understand that the work we do isn't easy. <br />
<br />
So here is to Teresa and Bill, I miss you both. I'll see you both in journey and we can talk then. In the mean time... Bill people are fascinated by the title you gave me.Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01728559049414338167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1825691959845713290.post-32775308294830241442010-02-13T08:02:00.000-05:002010-02-13T08:02:07.032-05:00ReleaseThis has been a difficult week for me with the passing of my friend. Teresa now walks on the other side of the veil, most likely busier than ever, watching over all of us. But now I begin to find peace in her death. I did not know how or when it would come, but I can sleep better now that we have honored her through her last rite of passage for this life. <br />
<br />
Last night we honored her, not for the final time, but for the last time while she was with us physically. Now it is time to honor her as an ancestor. She would smile at that, not snicker or scoff, but smile and possibly giggle. She can no longer deny the titles or designations of wisdom that we will give her. She truly is an ancestor, one we are very willing to receive advice, wisdom, and solace from. She was and is my friend and it was my honor to participate in last night's ritual. It was the beginning of my healing and for that I thank her deeply.<br />
<br />
I did not know how powerful the ritual would be, how deeply it would impact me. But it did. I know that I do not do the readers justice in giving only snippets of a ritual here, but that is all that I am willing to share, that I'm willing to give. I will only say that when a flame is snuffed out it leaves a darkness that cannot be imagined until you feel it. I felt that darkness last night and the rebirth of her soul in the flame of spirit. Her release was sweet; my release has begun.<br />
<br />
I thank you Teresa for all you have taught me, for all you have laughed and cried over, for all you have given, and for all that you will continue to do - in this life and in the next.<br />
<br />
Blessings.Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01728559049414338167noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1825691959845713290.post-50092678902412066642010-02-02T14:41:00.001-05:002010-02-02T14:41:51.535-05:00Blessed ImbolcI suppose that things have changed over the year to bring us back to Imbolc. The dog is sleeping by the woodstove, enjoying the warmth that it gives. The sun is trying to peak through the clouds to help warm the earth so that the flora and fauna of the farm can begin their annual awakening. And here I am, sitting on my couch listening to the quiet that can only occur in the country, wondering what to cook for dinner. It is a slow day full of activity. Subtle activity.<br />
<br />
So what changed? Well, last year I had no dog. My old girl passed four years prior and I didn't have the heart to move another "best friend" into her place. But our new puppy is not a replacement; she is an addition to the family that is unique and original. She may have four legs and fur in common with my old dog, but beyond that they are as different as any two people.<br />
<br />
I am also now living on a farm. I moved from the city to the country and am so happy that I did. The quiet solitude allows me time to think, time to grow, time to just be myself. There are pressures, but they are different here. Now I worry about when I should be looking to plant my garden and how far apart to plant the berry bushes. There is no more worry about the store across the street being robbed or if it alright to leave my car on the wrong side of the road for and extra hour. The quiet here is complete. It hits the soul and the mind all at once and engulfs your senses so that you understand that all is well and your world, my world, will is fine. It is okay to go slow, there is no need to rush. Time passes so quickly here, but it is measured in work accomplished rather than by the ticks on a clock. Here I feel whole.<br />
<br />
And then I have changed. I no longer hold the same job, I left it behind me. I have rested, am resting, in the quiet solitude of winter in Central New York. The snow has blanketed me for a few months and will continue for a few more. But I do not sleep and leave all thought or activity behind. Far from it. I am working on who I am and who I am becoming. I am evolving, or as I once heard say, I am a human becoming because I am a work in progress that will never stop. To be a human being means that you have stopped evolving, stopped growing, stopped becoming. That is not what has happened at all. If anything I am doing more now that I ever have in the past.<br />
<br />
And that brings me back to Imbolc. It is the promise of what lies under the surface of the snow. The promise of what has been waiting to be born again in the light and warmth of the spring. It is there, we are there, and now is the time to appreciate all of the potential we have at our finger tips to begin living and growing as the seasons begin to warm.<br />
<br />
May you have a blessed Imbolc.Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01728559049414338167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1825691959845713290.post-29253655036704529602010-01-29T07:47:00.000-05:002010-01-29T07:47:41.790-05:00YouTube - Lost Generation<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42E2fAWM6rA">YouTube - Lost Generation</a>Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01728559049414338167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1825691959845713290.post-66204437735854821472010-01-28T16:13:00.002-05:002010-01-28T16:16:31.200-05:00WindThe wind is creating a new world outside my window. It takes leave of the lake and descends on the land in crushing bursts, unpredictable to anyone walking the land. I watch it move outside the protective glass. The trees violently lurching back and forth when hit with the silent force from the west. Snow dancing in wild cadence across the field eradicates the trees on the other side from sight. I am surrounded by a world of chaos that is driven by an unseen master. The wind does not kiss the earth today; it rips across it with icy blows.<br />
<br />
Cold snow, it bites my skin in frenzied bursts that I know are coming but cannot prepare for. I am now in the middle of the dance, but I can’t hear the music that gives it rhythm. I can only stumble through the frenzy trying to anticipate which way my dance partner wants me to move and then do so accordingly. The entire time I push forward, wanting to feel the air around me and at the same time focusing on the moment when I can once again enter the calm on the other side of the window pane. Departure from the solitude of my home was necessary; the fuel that keeps me warm and comfortable is held in the barn across the way. <br />
<br />
As always, in order to obtain calm in my life I cross a chasm of confusion to find what will sustain me. It is only out of chaos that order can be found, and so, into the wild dance of winter wind I go. Tonight I will sleep well in the warmth of my home.Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01728559049414338167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1825691959845713290.post-52769730050277496442010-01-27T14:37:00.000-05:002010-01-27T14:37:58.098-05:00Food for the soulYesterday brought "new" friends, new experiences, and new laughter. This last week I was formally appointed to the position of Pagan Chaplain for Syracuse University. This is such an honor and an achievement beyond words. But this is also just the beginning of a wonderful new learning experience.<br />
<br />
Yesterday was my first official Chaplains meeting. I was introduced to both old and new friends as the "new" chaplain. I know most of the chaplains, but most of them have not bothered to know me. It amazed and amused me who had taken the time to get to know the religious leaders/advisors and who had not. After all, I am the pagan who holds ritual on the quad, who would have thought that there would be official recognition of us! I did. I always did. <br />
<br />
At some point I knew that this would happen, I just didn't know when. But back to the laughter. As the meeting progressed those that had not noticed me in the past nine years of my service now could not avoid me. Here I am with a seat at the table and enjoying every moment of it. I am not the only newbie this time--the new Dean is also in attendance. Tiffany is not officially the Dean unitl March 1, but it is always good to get a head start in a new job and after yesterday I think she really needs it! Not that she is not competent, not at all. Rather the early interaction will help her get a handle on the very diverse personalities that make up the Chaplancies of Syracuse University. And I felt for her. I have the luxury of being the "odd" religion and no one has any notion of what it is I am going to be doing. The evangelical minister told me he would be interested in getting to know what it is I believe cause he knows nothing about "pagan". That one surprised me.<br />
<br />
And then it happened, the discussion turned to food. Not just any food, but the need for potlucks, breakfasts, luncheons, and other gatherings so that the Dean could get to know the diverse group that she had just been placed at the helm of. I didn't realize that other spiritual paths placed so much emphasis on breaking bread together! But wait, the other chaplains, well most of them, were laughing under their breath. There were snickers, chuckles and then the laughter began to grow. It wasn't the other paths, it was one man continually working in a meal for the group to be paid for by the new Dean! It was funny, almost to the point of being sublimely ridiculous. I couldn't believe it, here was a group of individuals from multiple spiritual paths in one room and it all boiled down to the desire of one man to feast. I love it. If we can get past the feeding of the body just think what we can do!<br />
<br />
The next meeting will be interesting I'm sure, but it isn't for a bit. The semester should be an educational experience that at the moment I'm sure I can't even begin to fathom. I'll keep you posted, but in the meantime I think I'll have some lunch.Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01728559049414338167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1825691959845713290.post-36891145775898092562010-01-08T11:01:00.000-05:002010-01-08T11:01:53.324-05:00The Silence of SnowI sit in my living room and listen. There is no noise, there is only quiet. But it is not a silence, it is a quiet that gives voice to snow. We have much to be told by the snow. Not just the realization of cold and inconvenience, but the lessons of nature in all of its manifestations.<br />
<br />
I look out the windows and watch the snow fall; it is a gentle descent to the ground for the most part. On occasion the wind causes disruption to the pattern through a chaotic dance of chance. Creating drifts in some areas while leaving the protected space beneath a tree relatively snow free. But there is no "snow free" area in reality, only small oasis' in an otherwise desert of white flakes. The dog finds those safe havens, the less deep pools of frozen water. She has to in order to take care of her own needs. And so the snow has spoken to me saying that even when things may seem overwhelming and unmanageable there are places of relief if you look hard enough. Sometimes you need to create these spaces, but nature will provide the opportunity.<br />
<br />
The snow speaks to me of obligations fulfilled and promises created. Nature has taken care of us in the past. She gave us light, warmth, food, air, the ability to walk freely and enjoy the smells and sounds of growth, and the freedom to enjoy all that she is. She has fulfilled her obligation of giving us a time to run. It is our turn to wait while the land slumbers. This is our half of the obligation, to allow the earth to rest and take care of its own needs. We have been given the tools and the sustenance to take care of ourselves during this time. That was our agreement with nature, give us the warmth half of the year allowing us to gather strength to move forward and in return we will take care of ourselves while you sleep silently under your blanket of white. The obligation given last year has been fulfilled.<br />
<br />
A new promise is created. One that says I will return and once again allow you to feel the warmth of the sun on your face, but at the moment let me rest. Our half of the promise is to be understanding and appreciate the slower tempo of life that winter brings. It is not necessary to always move quickly; spinning faster and faster until we lose control of who we are becoming. Snow intentionally slows us down. It restricts our movements when we try to navigate through it, forcing a change in clothing that both protects and limits our bodies. We can resist this slowing if we wish, but to what end? Is it not better to slow down on occasion rather than always run through life? If we listen to what the snow says then we find the answer. Be encased in your cocoons and emerge in the spring refreshed and whole, ready to move freely in the sun.<br />
<br />
So I listen and hopefully I understand what it is that the snow is trying to tell me. I look forward to warmer days when I can work my garden, watch my grandchildren run, and move freely unencumbered by layers of of clothing. But for now I sit back and watch the snow fall gently, silently, to the ground gracefully rocking back and forth. I will enjoy the warmth of the hearth inside my home and enjoy the beauty of the white sun of winter as it crosses the sky. I will walk out at night in the darkness and see crisp, clear starry heavens and find the winter's constellations. I will not bemoan this time; like the earth I will replenish the soul and enjoy the depth of winter that in truth is necessary. <br />
<br />
I suppose that is the greatest thing that the snow tells us to remember. If it were not for this time, there would never be a spring.Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01728559049414338167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1825691959845713290.post-79474794561465031722009-12-24T06:13:00.005-05:002009-12-24T06:42:18.152-05:00Regaining TimeIts early morning and I am up. There is nothing unusual about that, I am always up "early" compared to my partner. He and I have different internal clocks that compliment each other nicely. But being up early gives me time, something that I have not felt that I have had lately. There is no reason for not making time, or finding it, but it still has been elusive to me. Yet, when I put it into these terms I find that I smile for time is an illusion as well. <br /><br />We count seconds, minutes, and hours on a clock; there are days which turn to months on calendars, but in the end we are the ones that create the fractured moments that we call time. Once created we then gain or lose the bits and pieces of a day. We can feel good or bad about how we spent our time wondering how the next day will be as if we have no say. It is all a choice. To an extent that is true, pressures outside of ourselves can dictate how we spend our day, our month, our life even. But not this morning; this morning is mine in the wee early hours.<br /><br />I have changed my life, begun to reconstruct it in a manner that is pleasing to me. That sounds selfish and yet it is not. If I do not give to my family the best and most honest me that there is I am robbing both them and myself of what is most precious... an honest relationship. I had lost myself, lost in the world and its demands to be a "good" mother, partner, employee, employer, or whatever other label you would like to put there. But another self was crying to get out and be with the world. That self had been shuffled away for a few years in order to stay in front of all the demands that life and society had placed before me. I allowed it, I was partner in my own captivity, I could stop it, and I did.<br /><br />I changed my life; reinvented it to an extent. I walked away from all of the things that I thought everyone placed value on and that I envisioned that was required of me. When I turned my back and walked away an amazing thing happened. Those that mean the most to me, those that I love, smiled. They were pleased that I no longer agonized over how my time and energy were taken from me every day and that I had nothing left to give at the end of each cycle. Everyone smiled and they still are smiling. I am now my true self, the self that I wanted to give to them but felt I could not. The person inside is no longer screaming to get out; she is out and gently sipping coffee in the very early hours of the day.<br /><br />So who is this new person that sits where I use to? Well that is the beauty of it all, I do not know. I have a lifetime of discovery with family and friends before I answer that question. All I know for know is that time has returned to what it should have been all along. It has returned to the turning of the wheel, to marking passage through seasons not seconds, and most of all it moves at nature's pace and not man's.Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01728559049414338167noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1825691959845713290.post-43091460327326260812009-12-13T10:36:00.002-05:002009-12-13T10:42:09.308-05:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWpM6NfXGDZjWcKBS2g04cTW4yqDvqk3h_WTiOZ-3CsIxlBPcS2waO9sgbR0NIdtryzEIn1o7vtgpL3c4EvmP8EPr5afm90udJ10wExklUDO_Zv0GL5iErHR52MZFt8QjqVbhUuj7J18hs/s1600-h/dance+of+stones.gif"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5414746361625851330" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 193px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 301px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWpM6NfXGDZjWcKBS2g04cTW4yqDvqk3h_WTiOZ-3CsIxlBPcS2waO9sgbR0NIdtryzEIn1o7vtgpL3c4EvmP8EPr5afm90udJ10wExklUDO_Zv0GL5iErHR52MZFt8QjqVbhUuj7J18hs/s320/dance+of+stones.gif" border="0" /></a><br /><div><div>Have you ever read a book that you could not put down; that you devoured until you reached the last forty or fifty pages? At that point you open it often and read a few paragraphs so you can finish, but somehow you find reasons not to continue. You do not understand why, it is a wonderful read and then it happens. You realize that you are delaying so that the story will not end. That is the only way I can describe <em>Dance of Stones</em>… a story that you just do not want to end.</div><div><br />Kenn Day, a modern day post tribal Shaman, retells the story of his 1998 trip to sacred sites in Europe. The trip was one of opening and enlightenment for both Kenn and his companion. Moving from site to site using intuition as their roadmap and magpies as their guide posts, self realization and new life paths were opened to both travelers in this story. It was a delight to take the trip with the two of them, but it was not just a matter of reading their story, it was also an opening of self for me as I took the journey with them. I had been thinking of this book for a while but had made one excuse or another for putting off reading it. As with all things, when it was time to act on this thought I dove in and I’m glad that I did.</div><br /><div>My own journey has taken many twists and turns not unlike the journey in this story. The reading of the book happened when I needed to be reminded of lessons long ago learned. How many times has it happened that we slip into complacency and forget the magic around us? When that happens to me I begin to feel as if I am walking a fog; this book was the tunnel out of the fog. Passages of text to quote elude me as I write this. Maybe each person needs to read <em>Dance of Stones</em> to find their own unique lesson. If you need an inspiration to help you find a new perspective <em>Dance of Stones</em> will not disappoint you. Suffice it to say that I gained insight to the journey of two individuals as well as to my own path in this world. </div><br /><div>Kenn has written in a manner that makes this book accessible to everyone. That is not to say it is a watered down bit of writing, rather it is in the language common to all of us; it is the written if he were speaking. I could not have gained what I did if it was written any other way. In writing about his journey, Kenn speaks to us as if we were sitting around a campfire, engaged in his words, body language, and voice and allows us to take the story to our heart to remember time and time again. Kenn’s talent in using story telling has moved from oral tradition to the written page beautifully.<br /><em></em></div><div><em>Dance of Stones</em> is a story to read over and over and I would recommend it to both those well along their path and those just beginning to search for one. It is a wonderful and gentle reminder that regardless of our experience we are all travelers sharing a common road and in one way or another we all have something to teach and to learn.</div><br /><br /><div><br /><a href="http://www.feydragon.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=5&products_id=185">To purchase <em>Dance of Stones</em> please click here.</a></div></div>Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01728559049414338167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1825691959845713290.post-41124601173013899132009-11-02T06:10:00.005-05:002009-11-04T22:43:51.454-05:00The Change of SeasonsWith time everything passes. The wheel turns, seasons pass, children get taller, and we grow older. Hopefully in the process we also grow wiser.<br /><br />This last week saw the coming and going of my 50<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">th</span> birthday; what a wonderful passing it was and one that I have looked forward to. You may think it odd that a woman would look forward to growing older, but I look back on my life and it has been amazing. I say that knowing that not all that happened in the last 50 years has been easy nor has it all been what I wanted, but in the end every last moment has shaped who I am, who my children are, and where it is I will head in the future. In other words, it is the experienced moments of my life and how I integrated them into my self that matters.<br /><br />This last weekend I was asked to think of my "bucket list", the list of things that I would like to do before I die. I chuckled and then I thought about the question and it took me a while to find an answer. What are the things that I WANT to do? This last summer I had made the statement that my first 50 years where driven by my obligations; however, my next 50 years would be spent following my desires. We all understand the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">responsibilities</span> of adulthood: children, home, job and the like, in a sense those things that we define success by. However, those things that would bring me joy do not necessarily fall into those categories. So I was now forced to truly decide what was the single most important thing that I would like to accomplish. Did I find it? Absolutely, only it was two items combined. Now comes the pursuit of the dream. It is a rediscovered purpose in a goal that I have been working towards. Yet now I have now a drive that had not quite been there before. A drive that could only be born from a new appreciation of how long I have been dreaming this particular dream.<br /><br />I look around at those that I work with each day and see that they are still <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">plodding</span> along the road of obligation. I do not feel that weight of "doing what I am suppose to" any more. Do not get me wrong, I still need to pay the bills, buy groceries and generally stay within the lines of socially acceptable behavior; but there is a lightness about my day. I know that the star that I had only seen as a distant glimmer is a very real <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">possibility</span>. This is true magic, understanding that all things are within our grasp and that we all have the ability to make our dreams come true. Sometimes that means allowing the change of the seasons within our life take place naturally and not struggle to keep everything as it was.<br /><br /><div>I am not going to tell you, my dream is mine to discover. Everyone has a dream, a thing, a bucket list whether they know it or now. Ask yourself the same question and allow the season to turn so that you can begin the chase of dreams in your own life.</div>Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01728559049414338167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1825691959845713290.post-34859046829425418742009-09-13T07:26:00.005-04:002009-09-13T07:54:22.066-04:00HarvestingThis summer has been a journey for me. One that has had its moments of both sadness and joy. My partner and I left the city for good; we have moved to a farm that we are now the stewards of. We will be planning this winter for the spring, we are learning all those things that our ancestors knew and our generations have conveniently forgotten. There is great joy and satisfaction in the process, even when we make mistakes we are moving forward in our learning.<br /><br />It took moving to a farm to help me regain the perspective that not all crops harvested are those that we expect or that we even understand have been planted. Last night was the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Mabon</span> ritual for the group that I am a member of. It was a harvest ritual and I was ready to join in as I have in all of our rituals. But something changed; we got a puppy yesterday morning and all previous plans were made irrelevant. We did not have the proper setup for leaving a puppy alone while both of us participated in ritual, and even if we had, on her first night with us she shouldn't have to be alone at any point. This is the time of bonding and building trust. Planting the seeds of our new relationship with <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Cerri*</span>. So the decision was made. I would be at ritual but I would not participate in ritual. Instead, I would wait outside the circle taking care of our new child and calming her fears about being gone from her brother and sister.<br /><br />Now I must tell you that my circle is a long standing one. We have practiced together for many years and while we all walk different spiritual paths with varied beliefs, we have a great sense of self as a group and respect for all of our individuality. Last night was a first for me though, I stood outside; outside of my family, outside of my circle, outside of the energy that was initially built. And yet I was a part of the All.<br /><br />As darkness enveloped the group a calmness came over the land. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Cerri</span> laid down at my feet, watched a part of what was going on in front of her, and quietly fell asleep. What happened <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">next</span> was humbling. The voices of my family of heart began to rise in the darkness, the lone candle on the altar shone brightly, and the energy of the Gods themselves filled the area. The love and beauty was not confined to the circle that had been cast, but engulfed all that was there. I was outside and yet connected deeply to what was transpiring.<br /><br />Standing outside and looking in I longed to be with my kindred and yet the responsibility for the tiny creature sleeping at my feet allowed me to look at my path, my group, my choices in a whole new light. I was able to harvest a new love and respect for myself and those in my life. Harmony danced on the wind, peace within blessed me with understanding. The crop of desire to be loved and accepted that I planted so long ago when I stepped on to the pagan path was shown in full bloom last night. My path has always been clear to me, but in the darkness last night I was able to harvest the understanding that the path had been chosen for me long before I took that first step.<br /><br />May we all be so blessed as to trust that our instincts are correct and to find the courage to move beyond fear in our life. It is only then that we can begin to sow the seeds of our life and enjoy the harvest along the way.Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01728559049414338167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1825691959845713290.post-87770534898844461672009-04-12T08:40:00.004-04:002009-04-12T08:54:17.926-04:00TrustIts early and the sun is bright this fine Sunday morning. It is time for the chill to be behind us and for everyone to move forward to the next stage of living. Sounds so simple, so true, and yet there are so many complications that come with the thought of moving forward.<br /><br />I have one child who is looking for a new job. In this economy that is difficult at best, but in this case it becomes complicated due to the need for health insurance. Simply moving to a new employer isn't always that easy. When your children have needs that out weigh your desire it can become overwhelming. I have another child that is moving to the next phase of his life; he is getting married. What a beautiful and natural transition this is but it too brings the complication of knowing that you are now truly responsible for another person's well being and that in turn they are responsible for yours. Both of these positions in life that my children find themselves are all about trust. Yes that is all it boils down to: trust.<br /><br />Trust in themselves to make the right choices and in doing so begin to build the lives that they are suppose to have. I too am on a cusp which involves trust. To sell my home and move from the city to the country. This is something that my partner and I have talked about for some time now and we have found the place to move to. It is beautiful, wide open spaces, wooded acreage, an old farm house, a huge barn, and plenty of potential for whatever it is we wish to do with it. But now it comes down to trust. I have to trust that all the work that went into finding the perfect place and holding it for us was the right thing to do. I have to trust that selling my home for several years is the right thing to do. I have to trust that the universe answered my spells and requests and brought this place to me even though it wasn't quite on my time frame. And I have to trust that all that needs to be done will fall into place. Easy. Right?<br /><br />Well, not really, but it is the only thing that I can do and I suppose that is the bottom line of it all. When we trust we are taking the leap of faith required to move forward even though we are scared. We understand that failure might occur, but we accept the risk as a minor part of the movement. In order to grow and find where it is that we need to move to there will be pain and grief to a degree but it is over shadowed by the joy that is brought by our trust in ourselves and others. We will never realize the rewards if we do not trust and so here I go, we go, again... the possibility of a "new" old house in my life that will give me the room to plant and grow and grow and grow all I want. This is the right thing to do in this season of growth.<br /><br />Trust.Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01728559049414338167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1825691959845713290.post-2805810577115141972009-04-05T20:28:00.002-04:002009-04-05T20:58:33.327-04:00HonoringIt was a wonderful day; one rich in conversation and love. What more could a person ask for? Nothing really. Bill and I puttered around, went out briefly, but all in all just spent the day together; it was wonderful. <br /><br />Part of the later afternoon I placed candles in the quarters of the circle out back. It was time to open the circle into Spring and I could feel it. The time for winter has passed and now that the energies have shifted our focus, my focus, is on the magic of growth and renewal. White candles in each of the quarters to honor the forces, energies, and elements that find their home in each direction. I let them decide on who goes where rather than asking that specific ones be in specific places as I would do in a regular ritual. You see these are the ones that live with us all year regardless of whether they are active or dormant. This is also their home and it is no more my place to tell them exactly where to be than it is for me to tell my neighbor what to do. We are neighbors and I honor all the creatures seen and unseen that coexist in this small patch with us. <br /><br />With the candles in place it was time to light them, ignite the incense, and then to offer a small gift of mugwart as a smudge to signal the shedding of the winter cloak and to embrace the coming growth. No wind would harm the tiny flames as they burned through the late afternoon; their lights were strong and calling. As the day moved forward and twilight came I glanced outside to see them still burning. I knew it was not time yet for the final bit of work but the time would come soon. More conversation and slow movement took me from the window and soon darkness came. Now was the time to finish and Bill was ready as well. We live together and it was important that he help in the opening and the honoring.<br /><br />There were only two things to do: 1) to place the birdbath top back on its pedestal and fill it with water and 2) give an offering of sage to honor those that were drawn there earlier by the incense, mugwart, and light. By morning it is likely that the candles will be burned out; it is just as likely that not all of them will have exhausted their life by then. The sage left on the stone altar will have given its scent to the wind to say "I am back and allow me the joy of riding on your wings." Finally, the honoring of those we live with has been done. <br /><br />Bill and I did the same for each other today by giving our time, our words, and our love. Together we honored those energies and spirits we share our home with by giving them gifts and acknowledging who and what they are. Our home is well blessed and it is important that we honor all those things around us that we sometimes either take for granted or forget because they have become too familiar to remember them. May you always take time to look around and remember to honor those people and beings that give you love and life everyday.Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01728559049414338167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1825691959845713290.post-47278503706314148592009-04-03T06:15:00.000-04:002009-04-03T18:01:57.342-04:00Spring and the Joy of SharingIt was an interesting home coming last night. I had been to a co-workers house helping him connect to the world electronically while recovering at home from surgery, so my trip home was not the normal trek. That did not bother me. I got lost a little in my own town and was allowed to view the city from different places seeing different faces. People were out walking and smiling in the sunshine and warmth. Warmth, such a subjective thing. It was only in the 60's but what a wonderful change from the winter months.<br /><br />As I approached home I felt a little disoriented; I was driving my partner's vehicle and negotiating the hills is very different in his SUV from how I glide through with my little dragon. But home I came. Students out on porches and balconies beginning the rites of spring as only students can. It is Thursday and that is the day the weekend starts in a college town. But there was no parking near our house. I just smiled and thought that this is the Universes way of making me walk and enjoy the sun while it lasts. Around the corner and up the hill I parked, walking back to the house to view the yard and what work lies before us. A very happy place to be to know that we will be out and working to make the yard come alive again. But once I came inside I heard something that wasn't quite right. It was a thumping sound periodically coming from the back yard.<br /><br />As I looked through the opening to the ritual room and then the window to the yard beyond, I saw a young woman with a bow and arrow. She placed the arrow in the bow, drew back the draw string, and released to allow the shaft to fly towards a target to the side of the yard. Then a second young woman with a hula hoop began to move her way across the yard beyond where the circle is outlined, and finally a third young woman just strolling around in a small area with her dog. Now you must understand I have no fences defining my back yard; but in the area where I live there are very few back yards. It is an oasis in a university neighborhood as far as grass is concerned. So in one sense this didn't surprise me.<br /><br />I walked out back and approached the three and asked if they knew that this was my yard. I'm really not that possessive but we have sacred space there and I truly don't want it to be disrupted. They were confused, their landlord never explained that the grassy area wasn't for everyone to use; his answers I'm sure were vague when they inquired. So I made some new friends, met the neighbors, and gave permission for the archery to continue. Seems a little surreal to be honest, but anyway...<br /><br />I explained about our ritual area and then engaged in a small conversation regarding beliefs. Wiccan, Pagan, Heathen, etc... it all came out. So now the witch of Lancaster Avenue has once again made her self known to the transient occupants of our area. They will be invited to drumming this summer if we have it here. They will be invited to watch ritual if not verbally then by the fact that we are not secretive about what we do. So sharing space, sunshine, energy and smiles today, for what better way to celebrate Spring!Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01728559049414338167noreply@blogger.com0