Monday, November 2, 2009

The Change of Seasons

With time everything passes. The wheel turns, seasons pass, children get taller, and we grow older. Hopefully in the process we also grow wiser.

This last week saw the coming and going of my 50th birthday; what a wonderful passing it was and one that I have looked forward to. You may think it odd that a woman would look forward to growing older, but I look back on my life and it has been amazing. I say that knowing that not all that happened in the last 50 years has been easy nor has it all been what I wanted, but in the end every last moment has shaped who I am, who my children are, and where it is I will head in the future. In other words, it is the experienced moments of my life and how I integrated them into my self that matters.

This last weekend I was asked to think of my "bucket list", the list of things that I would like to do before I die. I chuckled and then I thought about the question and it took me a while to find an answer. What are the things that I WANT to do? This last summer I had made the statement that my first 50 years where driven by my obligations; however, my next 50 years would be spent following my desires. We all understand the responsibilities of adulthood: children, home, job and the like, in a sense those things that we define success by. However, those things that would bring me joy do not necessarily fall into those categories. So I was now forced to truly decide what was the single most important thing that I would like to accomplish. Did I find it? Absolutely, only it was two items combined. Now comes the pursuit of the dream. It is a rediscovered purpose in a goal that I have been working towards. Yet now I have now a drive that had not quite been there before. A drive that could only be born from a new appreciation of how long I have been dreaming this particular dream.

I look around at those that I work with each day and see that they are still plodding along the road of obligation. I do not feel that weight of "doing what I am suppose to" any more. Do not get me wrong, I still need to pay the bills, buy groceries and generally stay within the lines of socially acceptable behavior; but there is a lightness about my day. I know that the star that I had only seen as a distant glimmer is a very real possibility. This is true magic, understanding that all things are within our grasp and that we all have the ability to make our dreams come true. Sometimes that means allowing the change of the seasons within our life take place naturally and not struggle to keep everything as it was.

I am not going to tell you, my dream is mine to discover. Everyone has a dream, a thing, a bucket list whether they know it or now. Ask yourself the same question and allow the season to turn so that you can begin the chase of dreams in your own life.

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